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The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

"We needed love before we "fell in love," and we will need it as long as we live."

The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness

Our February pick was all about the one thing we all need and want in life - love. In The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, Dr. Chapman draws from his extensive experience counseling couples to guide readers in creating strong and healthy relationships. Based on his observations, the solution to most couples' problems is simple. They need to understand their partner's love language to express love more effectively. In the book, Dr. Chapman identifies five distinct love languages, recognizing that what resonates for one person may not work for another. He shares many stories of couples who have transformed their relationship just by learning their partner's love language. He argues lasting love requires effort, yet implementing this approach could help you develop a love that is real and lasts a lifetime.


"Real love — this kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth."
 

Dr. Chapman believes keeping your partner's love tank full is key to building a relationship that lasts. The way you do that is learning their love language and showing love in that way.


Here are the five love languages:


  1. Words of Affirmation: Expressing affection through verbal praise, compliments, and encouragement.

  2. Quality Time: Spending meaningful and focused time together, engaging in activities that both partners enjoy.

  3. Receiving Gifts: Showing love by giving thoughtful presents or gestures.

  4. Acts of Service: Demonstrating love by performing helpful actions or tasks for your partner.

  5. Physical Touch: Expressing affection through physical contact, such as hugs, kisses, or holding hands.

Can you identify your love language from this list? What fills up your love tank? I'll admit, it was hard for me to recognize my own until I took the quiz in the book. Surprisingly, I also initially chose the wrong love language for my husband, despite us being together for almost 20 years.


I found this book incredibly helpful. It's not just for couples who need marriage counseling. Every couple should read it. It's a great way to identify your love language and how you best feel loved. There are quizzes at the end to help you and your partner figure out how you each prefer to be loved. If you are looking for a way to give and receive love better in your relationship, I highly recommend reading this book.




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